Please Don't Say, "I don't know how you do it"

Had a relatively full day today. I do not want to say busy just full. We had a workday at school which is always nice, no kids (sheepish grin) and I can "catch up" or "clean up". Catch up with talking to the other teachers, mainly Janis and Connie (yes, I know Connie, you are not a teacher -yet- you are in permanent detention in the office - bigger grin) and clean up the piles I have sitting around my classroom. I stole some work hours to work on a project for church. I had planned on spending about 2 hours in the afternoon reading for class, arranged for mom to pick up the kids but I ended up helping out Janis with a botched Power point she needed for a workshop. Did grab about 15 minutes of reading while waiting for Aaron to get to the counselor's office. Left there at 6:30 ran home, changed clothes and went to an openhouse of my lay counselor's/fabulous friend. Back home, McKenna and me in the shower, where after the shower as I dried her off she walked away into the living room where her sister was watching TV and told me she was wet. Yes, I know, she just got out of the shower. "No Mommy, I wet, I pee pee" We are not diaper trained yet and thank goodness I have hardwood floors except she was standing near my laptop. You get the picture. I attempted to read some more but fell asleep and yes, now I am up in the wee hours (she is sleeping with a pull up on, no pun intended there).

Yes, a full day and I did not fit into all I needed to but I got into it most of what I wanted. Being there for those I care about is top on my list. I do wish though people would not say, "I don't know how you do it" . Please do not make me question myself, I do that enough on my own. Am I there for the girls enough? Do I do enough? Should I be doing more? For some reason I have always felt like I was not doing enough. Where that comes from I am not sure. Yes, I work full time, go to school and have aspirations of getting this PhD. I am taking two classes this semester. Trying to make ends meet by taking on projects for the church and earning a little money. And Alyssa and McKenna always come first and I hope they never, never feel neglected. They are my #1 priority and life's work. I know people mean it as a statement of astonishment or maybe even a compliment but it makes me feel like I have bitten off more than they think I can chew. I really feel that way when my mom reminds me to be doing for Alyssa ( You gotta understand my mom and her relationship with Alyssa). You know how daughters and Mothers are. When moms remind or comment on what their daughters are doing it automatically feels like a criticism. Don't get me wrong. My mom is very helpful and supportive I think that that just is in the mother/daughter relationship.

But as for the "I don't know how you do it" I am going to hold on to the idea that I can and keep trying to schedule those hours to read and study. I want this for me and for the future. I will make it happen. Instead of hearing "I don't know how you do it" and making it a question, I choose to hear, "I know I can do it". I will be like the Winter Warlock and Just put one for in front of the other ....