He Listens!

Remember when I told you that Donna Partow, the speaker at the women's conference said you have to "get up and do!"? Well, I got up and did. I got up Sunday morning and went for a walk. I put my head phones on and Third Day sang me around the neighborhood. Interesting as I walked and listened to the music, I still could not focus my mind ... Imagine that about me. As I walked and talked (I think I talked in my head, with the music playing I could not hear myself audibly and none of my neighbors looked at me any more crazy than they already do so it must have been in my head) but anyway I talked. Sometimes I am not sure who I talk to, God or Aaron. Being that it is the one year mark and we still have not filed any legal separation papers or anything to cover McKenna I am stuck in the aggravation of his just quitting and the lack of moving forward in that area of my life. Just stuck but still not choosing a definitive action myself. Anyway, I was walking and talking and found myself playing those old tapes again. I want to help him, I want to fix things (not exactly the marriage just my perception of his misguided choices), I think he needs me. But you know what .... All those statements start with "I" and this is not about me. Aaron made his choices and they do not include me, our family together or him accepting responsibility, honoring promises and commitments or being the man I fell in love with (again, with those I statements ... not about me, not about me... accept his choices .. I think I have for the most part).

Anyway, the old tapes were playing and to stop them, I thought I need to be able to gather myself together, set the president for my day better and get into the habit of finding a quiet time with God in the morning just as I got up and did and went walking. But I have been struggling with that lately. Making the time to sit quietly with God and listen. And I wondered HOW? How do I do that? Couldn't someone give me steps to follow to make that happen. People, let me tell you HE LISTENS! I got to church this morning and we had a quest speaker and can you believe his message was 6 steps to creating quiet time with God and living it out! Now if that is not an answered prayer I have no idea what is. I asked for steps and I got them, just 6! How easy does it get? Well, ease has nothing to do with it, and convenience should not either. I have the 6 steps, now "get up do"! This is about me. He gave me the tools, now Beth, Get up and do!