When He speaks do I hear?

I went to a wonderful Women's Conference this past weekend at church. They have it every year called Pursue the Passion. This year's theme was Survivor and the speaker was Donna Partow - AWESOME! She spoke and laughed and cried, we all did. It is such a wonderful thing to be in the presence of the Lord with other women. The overwhelming support that is in the room for all of us who walk around with broken hearts or tedious days, the unspoken acceptance and understanding is inspiring. I went for the first time last year, it was the day the my brother helped move Aaron out of our house. I came home to a house that did not look the same, things were missing, gone. This year I got involed and volunteered. There were several messages Donna conveyed like the "Porcupine State of Mind". Ever been around those people that just got passionate about THEIR ideas and what has happened to them. Well they say the are passionate about it they are just aggressive about being heard and passing it of their "passion". Any way you can look at them and yes they a right and they have many good points but who wants to be around them?

She also said you have to "get up and do!". It is not enough to buy the books and the right outfit and the tapes etc ... you have to DO! Get up! Do! So simple yet so hard sometimes. What is it that God wants me to do?
I know that he speaks to me is various ways. I know that the feeling I got when I went to register for classes, the wonderful, right feeling I got was his way of speaking to me. But am I listening in other aspects of my life when he speaks? Why is it everytime I go into church, I hear the music and the message that it is speaking to me as if they are following me around in my life and down to my toes I want Aaron to hear these words experience the inspiration that I have felt in the past year. I feel that way everytime. Everytime. And I know I can not fix him, I know I can not help him, I know I can not do this for him. My head knows this, I wish someone would tell it to my heart because my spirit is hearing "do not give up on him" not as a husband, I do know that is over but as a man and a child of God. My heart and head and spirit are out of sinc and I am having trouble listening for me. There are many things I KNOW but they conflict with how I FEEL.

A year ago God tapped me on the shoulder and told my I was out of balance and that I needed to come home. I have been working my way there ever since. I am listening, please tell me how, I know he speaks all I need to do is hear.