Well, I did it again. I tried to help someone who is not interested in "help" per se but more just getting what they want. See previous entries to get a better idea, "Cost of Love" and "Bagage Claim"In trying to help out with a payment someone would have to make if I did not help them, I in turn get told I am a liar and gold digger. I don't know judge for yourself ...
Beth,
I have no issue with filing MFJ and setting the dates as needed. My only issue is you taking over daycare. Having checked again with CSE,and remember, these are only guildlines, not the "real thing", my support payments would be well above and beyond what I currently pay for daycare. That being said, I would rather me maintaining daycare payments. You would still be able to take the tax break, so no change there. I've just seen to many moms out there driving new cars and living in bigger houses, all because of the increase the dads have to pay, and we then wind up living in squalor. I don't believe that you taking over payments is a means of distancing yourself, as that can'thappen as long as we have a child together. I do think, however, that it is a means to drain the well dry, and what good am I to the children if I can't afford to live at least decently??
Please re-think your decision.
Thanks,
A
My response:
Drain the well dry? You think my decision to take over day care is so that I can drain you of resources you are already tight on? Are you kidding me? What in the past 15 months or the past 5 years of us as a couple or even knowing me for the past 20 years would ever give you the idea that I am trying to get money out of you? Is it that I have helped you out when you lost your jobs and needed a place to stay? Was it that I never asked you to make more money and get a better job but instead told you do the job you like or go back to school if you want. Was it that I never pushed Steven for more money or took the money that Alyssa actually deserves that would give you a history of experience that shows you I am out for draining the well dry? Is it that I have met you half way or even helped out by bringing the kids to you? Paid the car insurance on time and did not fuss for the payment? Maybe it is that I am trying to help you out with the taxes so that you will not have to pay the IRS and forego child support that is owed to McKenna. I did these things and asked for nothing.
When? When have I ever asked you for money? When have I not tried to be understanding and generous? Of course you have no issue with filing taxes and readjusting the dates ... it bails you out again. And on that note, when have I ever held it over your head the times I have helped you? I already told you, I want nothing of you. I have been honest, patient and understanding. You broke my heart. Your decision has left yet one more little child to grow up with no full time Daddy and a broken promise that her parents would always be together and never do that to her. My best friend abandoned me and I told him I understand and have tried to be supportive in everyway I know how. I was genuinely truthful with you when I said it was an attempt to distance myself from you and move on to realistically take care of McKenna by myself and you in essence call me a liar. It is not me that wants more money, lies to you, cheats on you or belittles you ... it never has been and never will be. You are McKenna's father. My best friend and husband died standing on our deck holding papers saying he was being sued by the actual woman who did demand money, lie, cheat and belittle him and I am NOT her! Never have been. NEVER will be. Contrary to what you think women do with child support, I personally KNOW that it is NOT for ME ... it is for MCKENNA!
Buy a new car .... get a bigger house .... drain the well dry? Just spit in my face Aaron. You have either forgotten or chose to be clouded but you do not know me at all. You have no money but it sure has you so tight you can not even see good things in front of you. But you will spit in their face.
Beth
Just to let you know I have received no response to this but our accountant received his information to file our taxes.
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2 comments:
Not really having any right to butt in... however, statistics would say otherwise. It is normally the women and children who get shafted in separation and divorce, at least financially. Somewhere here I have the statistics (it would take a day or two to find them) but separated women with children are statistically much more (as in much much more)likely to end up living in poverty then are separated or divorced men. They are more likely to live without health insurance than their male counterparts. Very few of the cases I have come across personally has the court actually made the man do without in lieu of his ex or his children. Those women who do better generally had the means to hire a better lawyer, again the exception. I'm so sorry this has gotten so ugly for you and the girls, but there are times you need to stand up for yourself or become a doormat. Hang in there, you will garner more respect from your ex (and ultimately the courts) if you show resolve in watching out for yourself and family. Good luck, it may get darker before the dawn. You and your family remain in my prayers.
-Chet
Thank you Chet for your words, insight and wisdom always. I value your comments. I have come to the point finally that I will do what I can for my husband IF and only if it does not take away from the girls and me in anyway. I think I will always love the man I married but he seems to not exsist and longer. I will support this man that is left in his place because he is McKenna's father as long as it is a healthy one for her. What seems to catch me each time, although it shouldn't, is his accusations of me that are absolutley NOTHING that I would even consider doing and I feel he should know that, know me but his heart is so tightly wrapped by money and hardened that I should know he would not see me for who I really am.
Again, thank you for your comments, I respect and value them greatly.
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