Shadows of myself

I have spent the last two days in my pajamas with the TV on and playing with my 2 year old. THAT has been the good part of the day. The not so good part is that I have hardly cleaned up from the "festivities" of Christmas. My goal before going back to school on the 2nd is to clean out my closet and the tool closet. Well, I still have some time but if you give me 5 minutes, I will procrastinate 3 and then get it finished in a flurry. My Mom came by yesterday and we were in our PJs and she came by again this afternoon and we were still in our PJs. Well, she came back tonight and what she wanted to tell me was that she had spent her life not having anyone (she was an only child raised by a great aunt). This year of my and Aaron's separation has been hard for her to watch me go through because it is like history repeating itself. My dad at 40 decided after 17 years of marriage that he needed to "find himself" Midlife Crisis? Aaron at 39 has decided he is "broken and needs to fix himself" History repeating? Anyway, my mom came by to tell me that I do have someone. We ended up having a long conversation and I said a lot of things I should have said before Aaron left, since he left and told her about the white elephants that are plaguing me and my brother's relationship. She had helpful things to say and I just needed to get it out. I am such and extrovert, I generally do not know how to deal with my thoughts until I can get them out and then move them around but sometimes that is not so good when "getting it out" talking to someone else - once the words are out and heard the damage can be done. I wonder sometimes if these are the shadows of me - my parents divorce, my impending divorce, Pajamas all day in a messy house. OK enough with hiding in the shadows, time to get ready for the new year. Put this one behind. January 15th will be a year that he left and the required year will be over and time to move on. Out of the shadows ...